“Just a funny melon, doing funny melon things.” —Unfunny Melon
In a funny world of funny melons, I chose to be a melon doing funny things. At least, that’s what I always thought I was going to do with my life. That is, until, I found out I wasn’t at all a funny melon. I was so unfunny, in subjective truth to so many others, that I began to wonder… am I a melon at all?
It was on the eve of my sixth day on planet Earth as a fully-grown melon that I found my first role in the world as a squashed melon. So offended was a passerby at observing my unfunniness that they went ahead and squashed me right down. Which was probably for the best, because then a bird ate my unfunny parts. Now all the birds are humorless.
I feel it’s at this point that I should probably tell you I’m no longer a melon. Are you surprised?
It was a joke.
Thanks for being here.